Afraid to leave

You know what sucks? Feeling afraid of every social interaction known to mankind. Covid seems to be everywhere, lurking in the shadows waiting to infect innocent bystanders. Usually summer is filled with pool parties, camping and bbqs. This summer has been filled with our backyard, a kiddie pool, Frozen and copious amounts of Crumbl cookies.

It’s extremely confusing to be bored to death with your house but too paralyzed with dread to leave. I’ve declined multiple events over the past five months due to fear. Not fear for myself necessarily but for those I love. I want to keep Nug, my mom and husband as healthy as possible.

However, even with solid logic, every dismissed event leads to massive guilt. Everyone has to look at their life and decide which events are worth the risk. For me personally, barely any have made the cut. I’ve missed birthdays, work gatherings, housewarmings and celebrations.

Do I sometimes feel like the world’s shittiest friend, yes. Is that better than living with the anxiety of infecting my toddler? Also, yes. We all must live within our own comfort zones and hope our friends will be waiting for us on the other side.

P.S. Corona … I hate you.